Sunday, June 14, 2009

What Am I Doing?

It seems like eternity since my last race. Not necessarily a good thing either.

Last time I checked in I was about an hour or so outside of my Wisdom Teeth being extracted, all four of them, and at the age of 30, I am told I should have done it 10 years earlier and it would have been less traumatic. I did get a week off from work out of the deal, but most of that time was spend wasting away on the couch, starving from my liquid diet. Of course running was put on hold, too.

Last major run was Lynn Woods long attempt with Dan, which didn't go as well as we had hoped. Beyond that I went out for a little over 5 miles on the roads Wednesday night after work, throwing in some speed work for good measure (3:30 run, with 30 second pickups). It was a decent workout, and I managed to do most of the workout at 7:30/mile pace. Bonked during the 8th pick up at about 30 minutes and 4 miles, and had to walk a little, but soldiered on to still finish the entire workout in 7:50 pace. It was probably a little much for the first run back, but I just wanted to run fast again. I am sick of being fat and slow, I am mad that I totally let myself go after college, and though I am in a MUCH better place now weight wise - topped at 235, now back into the 180's, I still want to get back down close to where I was in college. May never get to 150 ever again, but I'd be happy running at 160-165.

Yesterday I did the workout with my first 5k peeps, and I am SO proud of the group. They are a couple weeks away from the goal race and will definitely tear it up. Following the workout, I took my road shoes on a trail at Bradley Palmer, just a mile, and was just flat, which makes me a little wary about running the next race in the ENE Trail Series Tuesday Night, but my strategy all along has been to just enjoy each series race that I can get to, meet some of the Trail Vets, and get a little more acquainted with the names and faces of the trail animals here in New England.

Things are looking up, though. After Tuesday Night, the next series race isn't until August. Plenty of time to get back on track and feeling a little more confident and in shape. A bunch of us fellow trail animals are also arranging to head North to the White Mountains the first weekend in August to hike the Presidential Range Traverse. I am admittedly a novice when it comes to the mountain trails, and it should be a HUGE endeavor. Thankfully our group will be large and resourceful, and the next 6-7 weeks will certainly be rife with hill training locally if I ever hope to survive. Part of me wants to back out, but I have been really looking for a way to head North and experiment with Mountain Trails, especially if I ever hope to take on adventures like Wasatch and Angeles Crest.

Aside from that my mind has been filled with the quandaries of life. My current job is good for about as much as the paycheck so I can provide for my family. Other than that I find no worth in what I do, and am convinced I need to be back in a role where I am helping people everyday. I have been really attracted to the prospect of going into Clinical Social Work, specifically working in the fields of anxiety counseling, as well as providing services for 'End of Life" Care in a Hospital setting. I think it would be quiet rewarding working with cancer patients and their families, helping them get through the emotional rigors of that horrible, horrible disease. Of course, since my current bachelor's degree is in English, I have some work to do if I want to pursue this career, and would need a Bachelor's and Master's. Social Work also has a great deal of practicum involved in the education process, which is thrilling, but presents and issue to someone like me who is already working.

Sometimes you just wish 100,000 dollars would drop out of the sky with a note attached explaining that you now have the opportunity to do those things you need to do to wake up in the morning and go to a job where you get to make someone's world a better place...

...but then you wake up from the dream.

Anyway, more to come I am sure. Hopefully the trail will widen and brighten a little!



pathfinder said...

Yeah....a hundred grand....the things one could do with that.

Rob, you are already working with people on a level that does not require all that extra schooling....your 5k group I am sure feel they are lucky to have you..I am sure it is rewarding.

I know what you mena about the surgery...I am scheduled tomorrow ( the third time this year ) for more surgery on my mouth...they are using a new lazer knive to slit the bone where my four bottom front teeth used to be and install implant bases.

This makes a total of 13 implants bassses and after the bone graphs in, they can go to the next step.

Hopefully in three months or so the bone will be strong enough to support teeth.

This whole ordeal has taken so long...I just want it to be done with. It has actually been 1 1/2 years since the accident .....who knoe it would take so long?

trailgrrl said...

The traverse is something that will stay with you long after you are off the trail...You and I can start early and take our time and enjoy the quiet of hiking in the dark and see the sun rise and no worries about anything but just enjoying each moment on the trail....I know that is what KZ has in mind and if we can talk Dan into just hiking up Madison with us...we can all watch the sun rise together!